Thursday : 28/06/07 : Exam Day 4 : ITAB / Thursday, June 28, 2007

hai.. feeling depressed today. ITAB sucked. I'm gonna fail it. Serious. It was very bad. I left almost the whole of the last page blank. That section's 45%, and i totally screwed that up. Marking my paper and file is going to be a breeze for the marker. There's practically NOTHING for him to mark.

I plan to revise itab over again when i'm free. Gosh, out of the four papers tested so far, i have a feeling i'll fail two, pacc and itab. My exam records are gonna be so tainted. Seems like last minute revision do not work for poly. I gotta start changing my study method soon.

Got out of the IT lab feeling like a loser. Total depression. Worried for my results. My mind was like blank after the exam. My friends were chatting but i didn't pay any attention to a single word they were saying. Felt empty.

Rach and kim wanted to have their lunch, but i told them i'll leave first so i can get back home to study MOB. At last we all just bought takeaway food. Felt bad that they coudn't eat at sch. -_-

Saw one of my old SJC schoolmate, Anna Dong at the mrt platform. But i didn't bother to say Hi. I was in a really bad mood. Afraid i'll let it influence my conversation with her. Anyway, we weren't close friends back in sec sch. But it was really awkward and i felt so guilty for not saying a simple hi. What's wrong with me?! Shoosh, i'm becoming so mean. Argh... gotta say a prayer.. i really hope that everything will be fine once the exams are over and that i'll be back to my normal self (not so emo).

Someone said something hurtful to me today. I dun know whether he/ she meant it all not. As if my depression from the exam wasn't enough. Hope i'll forget this incident quickly. and hopefully that person doesn't do it again. I pray...

Felt like breaking down once i got home. Felt this sudden surge of sadness. I'm becoming so damn emo nowadays. And 'Emo' isn't good for health. Gotta drink more Intra..

Alright, last paper tmr. Something to feel happy about. After that i'm gonna draw up a plan on how to spend my 3 yrs in poly. What i want to accomplish and stuff. I realise i'm taking the exams like they don't matter to me at all. I didn't set any defined goals b4 i took the exams. Gotta put in more effort.. and maybe shift away from last minute mugging.. Mmm..

I'll end here. Sorry if i sounded grumpy/depressed/frustrated/pissed/too emo. I will change. It takes time =)

Love and stay happy,
~Ber~

write about yourself here like how you lived through a crisis like the morrocian crisis. erps, have you studied about that before and about your test, how easy it is and how much confidence you have to pass and get all A1s for all subjects, add in your own wish here, and what you would do if target is not reached, like slash your wrist, eat many many painkiller pills at one shot and die. lol it's suicidal thoughts. stay away from that. but you need to enter a reality, everyone's doing that- it's the trend, so why not follow it. unless you want to be an odd one out. cause slashing wrist is soo common in girls school not in boys school. boys suicide, just like die gracefully from 30th storey, just look on the bright side, maybe you have lived in a lie too long and so you have found out the turth now, just think. optimist wins. you have entered into a world of reality



We know life's hard, truth is hard, lies are hard, they are all hard to accept when they have been found out, and i'm rushing history homework on the Abyissian Crisis about Italy and Abyssia going into war and that the League Of Nations cannot stop this from happening, and beacuse they are formed by means to stop war and peace-keep the countries together, they have thus failed to achieve that. I think i tend to hold a class for history instead of telling you about me, i'm basically a what subject-realted lover (humanities) and thus I am more analytical and critical about things, and likes to study about dead people, haha. lol. it's history what can you expect and also geography, it amazes me. I really like it alot, so what have you? Again to find this answer you need to enter into your own reality and reflect




it's amazing. amzing how people change the way of things, like how I used to hate outdoors in Band felt it was a complete waste of time, i've acquired to like it more, i guess people change, their thereotical means and applications in life just goes on into a new direction, and see things in another perspective, i guess- it's all in the mind. It really amazes me how these comes into action, from someone so pessimistic has changed his own view of things, and thus my friend is scoring much better, being more optimisitc and not think of his old way of suicidal thoughts, which are pretty daunting. and thus we need to see things, in another light, another perspective and another new way, to enable us to open up our minds, and make more new things, the new way it is. done with the old back with the new

i've hiatus-ed.

Thursday : 28/06/07 : Exam Day 4 : ITAB / Thursday, June 28, 2007

hai.. feeling depressed today. ITAB sucked. I'm gonna fail it. Serious. It was very bad. I left almost the whole of the last page blank. That section's 45%, and i totally screwed that up. Marking my paper and file is going to be a breeze for the marker. There's practically NOTHING for him to mark.

I plan to revise itab over again when i'm free. Gosh, out of the four papers tested so far, i have a feeling i'll fail two, pacc and itab. My exam records are gonna be so tainted. Seems like last minute revision do not work for poly. I gotta start changing my study method soon.

Got out of the IT lab feeling like a loser. Total depression. Worried for my results. My mind was like blank after the exam. My friends were chatting but i didn't pay any attention to a single word they were saying. Felt empty.

Rach and kim wanted to have their lunch, but i told them i'll leave first so i can get back home to study MOB. At last we all just bought takeaway food. Felt bad that they coudn't eat at sch. -_-

Saw one of my old SJC schoolmate, Anna Dong at the mrt platform. But i didn't bother to say Hi. I was in a really bad mood. Afraid i'll let it influence my conversation with her. Anyway, we weren't close friends back in sec sch. But it was really awkward and i felt so guilty for not saying a simple hi. What's wrong with me?! Shoosh, i'm becoming so mean. Argh... gotta say a prayer.. i really hope that everything will be fine once the exams are over and that i'll be back to my normal self (not so emo).

Someone said something hurtful to me today. I dun know whether he/ she meant it all not. As if my depression from the exam wasn't enough. Hope i'll forget this incident quickly. and hopefully that person doesn't do it again. I pray...

Felt like breaking down once i got home. Felt this sudden surge of sadness. I'm becoming so damn emo nowadays. And 'Emo' isn't good for health. Gotta drink more Intra..

Alright, last paper tmr. Something to feel happy about. After that i'm gonna draw up a plan on how to spend my 3 yrs in poly. What i want to accomplish and stuff. I realise i'm taking the exams like they don't matter to me at all. I didn't set any defined goals b4 i took the exams. Gotta put in more effort.. and maybe shift away from last minute mugging.. Mmm..

I'll end here. Sorry if i sounded grumpy/depressed/frustrated/pissed/too emo. I will change. It takes time =)

Love and stay happy,
~Ber~

No signboards
no direction from here.
But I think we should climb on

I see lots of clouds,
damn where are the signs.

Oh I see it, there's light!
And there's a path
a path that leads us
back to reality

i knew it would lead us somewhere